We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
