k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
