So drunk, too bad you don't want this
okay pat passed out under dana's car
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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