Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
