you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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