i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
