At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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