Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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