My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
