my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
