Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
