i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How does it feel to date your dad?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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