i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
