I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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