Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
