funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
