He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
