Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
