I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
