yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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