Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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