Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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