if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
