She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
