There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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