At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
