i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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