hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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