If i come over, it means nothing
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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