Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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