i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
