i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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