I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
