I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
