I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
