It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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