This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dick very happy bro
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
