I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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