So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
