It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
