i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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