She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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