he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
