dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
