ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
