I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
