Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
