are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
