i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
