You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
