I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize